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- from the time that the pubertal transition starts, adolescents brains start to mature: the parts of the brain that are developing the most are the parts that are below the cortex (the parts that are shared with most mammals). And those things are kind of instinctual drives and things that you want for quick rewards.
- desire for social rewards is a way of helping us to develop autonomy from adults ("You're not going to be taking care of by your parents for the rest of your life").
- if we see that a lot of people are really interested in something, we will think somehow it's good, it's important.
- pain is kind of the most powerful signal that our brains can give us (if we don't do something soon, we may die or our species may be in trouble). When people got the signal to say that they were getting excluded the parts of their brain that lit up were the parts of the brain that light up when we experience real physical pain. We experience social exclusion in the exact same way that we experience physical pain. The lack of popularity makes us experience pain.
- sometimes what makes those cells turn on certain DNA is something that happens in our environment. So if an experience happens to you now, the cells that will start growing two seconds from now are going to start relying on the DNA that was activated by what happened to you before. Our social experiences have an incredibly important impact on that DNA. We've learned that if something happens to us that makes us feel rejected then our bodies turn on specific DNA. And the DNA they turn on has to do with our physical health.

- Event (this could be a big event like someone breaks up with you, or it could be a tiny little event, like you're walking through a crowd and someone nods at you). It turns out that in order for us to respond to that event, there are many little steps that happen, and the first one is whether or not we encode that event. Cue Encoding - the idea that we tend to notice some things more than others and actually don't even see the other things in our visual field at all. Cue Interpretation - we have to interpret what it is that we've seen or heard or felt. Goal Clarification - we then decide, what is our goal? What are we hoping to achieve in this particular situation? Response construction - we come up with a variety of possible things that we could do to respond. Response decision - we select one of those responses. And then we follow through on that with response enactment.
- every single experience that we've had socially is stored in a database. When we look at how people respond to things, it often is involving centers of our brain involved in auto-biographical memory. So we are very frequently drawing upon these old experiences. Particularly as it turns out, experiences with popularity, as a way to understand how every social experience happens to us every single day today. We can predict how people will encode things, how they will interpret things, and so on, all based on how popular they were as younger kids.
hostile attribution bias - this is referring to the cue interpretation phase: people tend to have a biased or distorted way of experiencing all of the social information processing steps. Some people who have had difficulties with popularity when they were growing up have a hostile attribution bias. Hostile attribution biased kids will selectively see the things in their visual field that suggest aggression. Kids who were rejected by peers develop an increased tendency to have this hostile attribution bias. And they see more aggressive things in front of them. And they fail to see positive things in front of them. Cue interpretation is also affected. If these same adults that have a hostile attribution bias grow up to become parents, then what we find is, it changes the way that they are parents, and it changes their kids.
sometimes when people are asked to talk about why they think something ambiguous happened, they don't blame others and get angry, they tend to blame themselves and get depressed. Sometimes this is referred to as rejection sensitivity.The idea that there are some people who tend to anticipate that they will get rejected, tend to interpret ambiguous situations saying that they likely were just being rejected, and tend to get much more emotionally concerned about things that happened to them that were rejecting in some way. Those who are rejection sensitive, however, they tend to continue living life only feeling good about themselves when others say good things about them.